The San Diego Asian Film Festival & Halloween weekend destroyed me. But still my roommate and I, sick as a dog, walked over to Arclight and watched Anonymous, directed by Roland Emmerich.

Anonymous dramatizes the Prince Tudor Theory (Specifically Prince Tudor II Theory, more on that later), an alternate literary theory contending that the true source of William Shakespeare’s works isn’t from the mind of Shakespeare at all, but Edward de Vere, 17th Earl of Oxford. This theory also contends that de Vere had an affair with Queen Elizabeth I, leading to the birth of Henry Wriothesley, 3rd Earl of Southampton. Wriothesley is thought by many to be the “Fair Youth.” in Shakespeare’s Sonnets. Anonymous weaves these theories into an Elizabethan political thriller of the succession of the Crown that parallels the writings of William Shakespeare.

I wont bog you down with literary/historical facts and theories, which is kind of an inherent problem with a film like this. It’s hard to be really invested in the political and literary intrigue without already being interested in Elizabethan and Shakespearean politics, literature, and theory. Personally, while I admire Shakespeares work, I never identified with it and the Elizabethan era was boring to me in school. So that already hampered my experience with the film; having to keep track of who is who, and why they’re important. And they are important, as the film is littered with real-life political and literary figures of the day, each playing an important role in revealing the true nature of the origin of Shakespeare’s works (The historical William Shakespeare is depicted as an illiterate jackass actor).

I went into the film knowing that Emmerich is known for directing movies like Godzilla, 2012, 10,000 BC and Independence Day, so I’m expecting lavish and epic treatment of the subject matter. For one thing, if you’re doing a period drama and your costuming and production design is on point, you’re gonna have, at the very least, a beautiful looking film. Emmerich doesn’t disappoint in this department. Wardrobe is lush and beautiful (some of de Vere’s outfits were boss as hell, I wouldn’t mind one of his capes), as is his depiction of Royal Court life. The streets of London were believably gritty and sweeping cityscapes gave a nice look into past England (romanticized, no doubt). There were a couple of nice moments with cinematography (the theatre, scenes in de Vere’s hedgemaze), but otherwise pretty standard.

The acting fell a little flat. Disappointing, considering what was at stake (love, aristocratic status, family, the Crown of England); but I did enjoy Vanessa Redgrave’s Queen Elizabeth and Edward Hogg’s Robert Cecil.

[SPOILERS] Like similar movies, some historical fact was fiddled with to create a dramatic story. But, at the end, the writers of Anonymous decided to evoke their own version of the Prince Tudor PART II theory, in which Edward de Vere is himself the ILLEGITIMATE SON of Elizabeth I, committing (unknowingly, in the film) incest with his own mother, so that de Vere is the FATHER AND HALF-BROTHER of Wriothesley, Earl of Oxford, while Elizabeth his both his MOTHER AND GRANDMOTHER. And, according to Robert Cecil, de Vere was meant to be groomed to be the future King of England, but he was too busy writing plays and poems, bankrupting his investments, screwing his mom and generally being a fuck-up for a man of his station. So if de Vere wasn’t Shakespeare, he could have been the king. But there doesn’t seem to be a reason for this twist; the plot and the characters’ motivations would have stayed more or less the same. The only reason it seems to be included is for the one-two punch of: BAM! You slept with your mom! Oh yeah and BAM! You could have been King, but (in the words of Robert Cecil) “you were you.”

In short: visually and conceptually interesting, satisfying seeing the historical Shakespeare as a jackass, sometimes barely graspable plotline (with a questionable twist), ‘eh’ acting/undeveloped characters, more fun for Shakespeare/Elizabethan heads. But enjoyable.